And the pursuit is on....

Is it the pursuit of happiness??...strangely I am not too sure of it. But there is something missing..
and the search is on....sometimes I feel, whether I like it or not...shorn of this , life would be deprived of all its dynamism. Some of my friends say..I should bring up some lively topics in my blog...but sorry to disappoint u guys..whenever I am overwhelmed with loneliness...or by some means or the other, get to realise the worthlessness of my self...I fall back on this medium...hoping that somebody in this world would read it...and share my thoughts, or better still I think of it as the means of unburdening myself...there is a tinge of selfishness in this too, a'int it? after all "I" has always taken precedence over everything else in this world....I do have
many reasons to be happy....if I compare myself with the great multitude of people afflicted with poverty, bereavement,war, and what not....they are simply groping with the atrocities of life every moment...
then what exactly concerns me and wreaks havoc with my peace of mind.?...is it the blank spaces that Paulo Coelho mentions of ,in his protagonist's life....no clue as to that.I have tried most things...meditation, offering prayers ..to name a few..but if it was that easy to connect to one's soul ,all of us would have been saintly beings...but I am just another mortal treading this earth..hoping to leave a few footprints before I finally bid adieu....setting all this 'philo-talk' aside...reality is that, I am greatly agrieved whenever I am taken for granted...why doesnt the person whom I keep missing every moment, feel the same for me once in a while...it is said that souls connect to each other...but if it was so, things would have been the other way round...
perhaps loneliness is laying its cruel hands upon me, more so ,because I am away from home...away from my mom , who means the world to me....but there is a silver lining to it...
I have realised that keeping myself submerged in some work does help to keep all these negative feelings at bay..that is what I am trying to do right now...but then again...the mind keeps hovering , and the reverie takes its toll on me..there isnt an end to it..."It is a sin to to think ourselves weak"....so I will better make an attempt to refrain from commiting this sin and look up to Him to carry me through....